「Anonymous」Chapter 12 (FINAL)
3 Months Later
“There seems to be something missing. Your number aren’t quite measuring up.”
“I’d say you’re not giving everything we want to hear, you’ll never convince a client if you do this with just half of your potential.”
“Yes, I agree.”
“What do you think… Aiba?”
“Perhaps you should be taking more risks,” Aiba leaned over the table to observe the written presentation with detail. “There is a lot more investigation that needs to be done. That should be your focus. This looks like a good place to start, but your client would be expecting more considering they want to make business out of this. You would want to make it something that not just they feel comfortable with but everyone else as well. Review your requirements, but don’t be afraid to put in your own preferences. After all, that is why you were handed the responsibility.”
It was a common sight amongst the employees of the production department to be left discouraged after an evaluation, though things had changed ever since Aiba Masaki had started taking part of their meetings. As the new assistant administrator in their department, employees looked forward to listening to his suggestions which helped them get through their meetings with a clear mind and the desire to do better. Perhaps it was the fact that Aiba had been in their same position not long before that helped as an advantage for him to understand the employees’ approach and push them in the right direction. That alone made Aiba Masaki very different from other supervisors.
“Thank you for today, Aiba!” The department supervisor would come up to him at the end of the evaluations. “It didn’t think I could get through so many performance reviews if it weren’t for your help.”
“It’s no problem!” Aiba would smile back as he truly appreciated their constant praise.
“Say, do you have any plans later today? We were thinking of heading somewhere for lunch. It be great if you could come along.”
Aiba was more than used to their invitations, and he had gave them company many times before, yet today he felt different about it. “Today… is a little difficult, sorry. You’ll have to excuse me this time, but I’ll let you know when I’m available.”
“Don’t tell me you have another meeting. You never take a break, do you?”
Aiba laughed nervously before he excused himself from the conference room. He was afraid to admit they were right, although it was not the same kind of meeting they spoke about.
~
“He was a total jerk!” Ninomiya’s voice burst through the phone line, making Aiba lift the phone from his ear momentarily. “What a waste of an interview, he totally sabotaged me on purpose!”
“Now, that can’t be it-”
“You should have seen it. I’ve never walked out of an office so pissed off! I even told the guy after me to not even bother going in. Gosh… I should have taken back my résumé, they made me look like an idiot! As if I didn’t feel stupid enough wearing this suit. Have I told you how much I hate ties?”
Aiba chuckled, balancing his phone against his shoulder while he assorted the documents that were all over his desk. His new department had proven to be a lot more spacious and practical than his last. It consisted of a fewer number of desks lined across the room, providing each employee their own personal space.
“What a waste of my time…” Nino’s complaints went on.
“I trust that’s not what you told them.”
“I wish.”
“Maybe you should put those minor interviews to rest. Didn’t you land two second interviews last week?”
“I did,” Nino spoke with a mouth full of his lunch. “But those are not until Friday.”
“That’s fine. You can go over what we practiced and try passing those instead.”
Ninomiya scoffed. “I got this in the bag. Those guys will be fighting for me during the final interviews.”
Aiba was glad Nino couldn’t see him roll his eyes. “You should save up that confidence.” he suggested.
“Anyway, what are we doing tonight?” Nino changed the subject. “I was thinking, we haven’t gone out to celebrate Satoshi’s promotion yet, and he’ll become a senior before we know it so…”
“Oh, that’s right…” Aiba paused his work. “I almost forgot about it. Although… No, I can’t do tonight.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Nino sighed, a little disappointed. “What is it this time? Work? A meeting? A Date?”
“It might be… the latter? I’m not sure if I would call it that.” Aiba admitted which made Nino’s side of the line silent.
“Wait… Are you still going out with Jun?”
“Yes, but it’s not what you think,” Aiba clarified quickly. “I’m just… making things clear tonight, that’s all.”
“Fine… If it’s that complicated, we should leave it for tomorrow.”
“… About that…”
“What?” Ninomiya sounded annoyed.
“I might not be here tomorrow.”
Aiba could almost hear Ninomiya’s brow rise. “What do you mean ‘here’? You’re not going in to work?”
“I’m not planning on it, no.”
“Then, you’ll be home? You can still meet with us at the restaurant, you know.”
“I meant to say… I’m not sure of where I’ll be tomorrow,” Aiba said. For a moment he thought Nino had not heard him after receiving no response from the other. “But I can’t tell for sure.”
“Aiba?” There was a change in Nino’s tone. “Is everything okay?”
Aiba remained silent, not knowing how to answer his question honestly. It was difficult to hide his feelings from Nino.
“You and Ohno should have that dinner for yourselves. I’ll just be in your way…”
“Aiba-”
“Nino, it’s fine. Seriously, I mean it.”
It was odd, but Aiba’s word did sound honest. “Are you going to Yokohama?”
“It depends.” Was all Aiba could say.
“Then… when are you coming back?” Nino still insisted on knowing all he could from the other.
“Soon, I suppose. I still have to go to work, but I’m taking a long weekend just to make sure.”
“And you won’t tell me what it is until you do it?”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up.” Aiba responded. “It’s better this way…” Aiba respired with a noticeable melancholy in his voice. As Ninomiya could only accept his words, Aiba glanced at the clock on the wall of the office. “Damn it, I almost forgot. I’m late… Nino, can I call you back?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nino assured him. “I know everything will work out.” His words gave Aiba some of the certainty he had been losing throughout the day. He could never hide anything from his dear friend, especially when it was something Ninomiya had encouraged him to do before. Yet, it was different this time. He made no use of his friend’s help to figure out any sort of plan and decided to go with his own instincts, even if it meant bringing back those memories he’d once promised to forget.
~
Aiba knocked on the door to the private office and was granted passage from a voice inside. Coming in, he found the director behind his desk turned to a window as he hid the conversation taking place through his phone. The director couldn’t greet Aiba as he’d began to raise his voice through the line, yet a glimpse at the younger was enough to welcome him inside.
Aiba walked in quietly as Ohno finished his call with rough orders. This was no longer an unusual sight for Aiba since the promotion of his former secretary.
“Busy day, sir?”
“More of the same,” Ohno sighed as he put his phone down. “I would kill for some sleep right about now.”
“I doubt your secretary would like it if he found you sleeping at your desk again.”
“Don’t remind me,” Ohno said with disgust. “That brat Chinen can complain all he wants. I didn’t promote him to give me orders.” Ohno took a seat at his desk.
“He admires you, you know? He is only looking out for you. Maybe if you gave him some more time to let him get used to the job, you might get along with him.” Aiba presented him the folders he carried with him.
“You have no idea how many times I have to tell him not to step on my heels when he walks behind me.” Ohno complained, accepting the papers Aiba delivered to him. Aiba liked to sympathize with the idea that he became more confident around Ohno those last few months due to his lack of trust towards his secretary.
“He sure is into you.”
“Tell that to Nino.” Ohno scoffed, and it didn’t surprise Aiba at all that he would bring up his boyfriend so casually with him.
“You’re still not having that discussion, are you?”
“He can’t help it. Every time I do so much as mention Chinen, he turns cold on me. It’s ridiculous!”
“Nino has always been quite jealous... though I’m sure if Nino got to meet your secretary, he would know he has nothing to worry about.”
Ohno paused over his thoughts as if considering it. “You think that might work?”
“Ohno… I’m kidding. It’ll be ridiculous.”
Ohno groaned, moving in his chair impatiently. Although he saw no problem with proving to Nino he had no feelings what-so-ever towards his secretary, perhaps sharing his private life with Chinen was not the most clever of his ideas. As Ohno had lost himself in a thought, he barely noticed Aiba’s farewell and found him walking to the door. “Aiba!” Ohno called suddenly.
Aiba turned on his heels to look at the older who’d even stood up from his chair again.
“Do you have a moment? I was hoping… we could talk a little? Privately.” Ohno’s voice became smaller. Aiba came closer to his desk once again and allowed him to continue. “Nino called earlier. He mentioned you were planning something...”
Aiba was not surprised Nino would have spoken with Ohno already, although Aiba regretted not telling the younger to not share it with anyone else. Especially Ohno.
“I was a little concerned at first, but I think we both understand what you’re trying to do.” Aiba was about to say something when Ohno rose his hand to stop him. “Don’t get me wrong.” Ohno clarified. “I know I disagreed before and I understand why you chose not to tell me about this now, but… I have been meaning to tell you something and I need to get it out of the way… I take back what I said to you before.”
Aiba said nothing although this was not what he expected from Ohno.
“I may have been harsh, I know. I was thinking like a professional when I said those things. I didn’t realize that was not what you needed to hear. I hope you can forgive me.”
Aiba nodded slowly. “It’s no problem.”
“But it is,” said Ohno and for a moment, Aiba noticed the worry in the other’s expression. “I spoke to him not too long ago and I was wrong to say you shouldn’t get close to him. You see, he… doesn’t sound too well. It’s almost like… he is not himself anymore. I don’t want to think it’s my fault, but… I think he needs you, after all.”
“Ohno-”
“I know… this may sound really selfish coming from me, but please… he is my friend. Since I met him, I had never left his side and right now, he is probably the most alone he’s been in a very long time. Keeping you from him… it was wrong. So, I am asking you now, forget all I said before. Please go to him. He needs you more than what he realizes. This distance… is only making it worse. And I don’t want to make myself a villain between you-”
“Ohno,” Aiba interrupted. “Even if you told me all this, there’s no way I would not go. You may not know it yet, but I do need him, perhaps the same way he needs me now.”
Ohno had not thought of what to expect from Aiba, but now he acknowledged his opinion didn’t really matter to the younger. If only, he made himself seem out of place.
Ohno went through his desk the next moment to take out a small piece of paper and pen. He wrote down a single line before held out the note to Aiba.
“Here. I suppose you’ll need it after all,” Ohno invited him to take it. Aiba examined it quietly. “It’s his private number. I believe you may have lost it.”
The times he had asked Ohno for those same numbers without success managed a chuckle out of him, never imagining Ohno would be the one to hand it over to him. Even so, Aiba placed the note on Ohno’s desk.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Aiba said formally. “I don’t need it anymore.” The older looked at him puzzled. “I may or may not have acquired it already, but I appreciate your help.”
Although still appearing confused, Ohno knew there was only one other person that would go out of his way to help Aiba. And he honestly expected no less from him.
“Aiba…” Ohno called him a last time before Aiba would reach the door. “Don’t let them know, by any circumstances.” Ohno warned him. Aiba already found it problematic that Ohno knew about his intentions, but he appreciated Ohno was still someone he could confidently call a friend.
“If I may say so, sir,” Aiba spoke once again. “I always believed a great leader was someone who was never afraid to admit their mistakes.” Ohno gave him a confused look which made the younger chuckle and add, “The position of director suits you.” Aiba bowed before walking out the door.
~
He excused himself from work earlier that day, heading towards a café not far from the company building. He didn’t have to wait long before who he waited for came into the establishment. There was a silent exchange of looks before he finally decided to approach Aiba at the table.
Aiba didn’t order anything, nor did he wait for Kazama to make an order, he simply placed the papers in front of Kazama and let him read them on his own.
“I explained to them your current situation the best I could, and they seemed willing to help. They’ll want to know the reason why you were dismissed, so that will depend on you to elaborate. In any case, I already sent in my recommendation, so in the least, I’d say you should try.”
Kazama stared back at him baffled, having a hard time taking in what he held in his hands. “You’re offering me a job?”
“It is not our company, but they have close affiliations. I believe they’re short on staff. Of course, I can’t guarantee you’ll be given anything similar to what you had with us. In any case, you’ll need to work your way up, but it’s a better pay and better benefits than a construction site. It’ll be a bigger help to pay for your fine.”
Kazama looked doubtful, scanning the pamphlets Aiba had given him and the form for a job application.
“You still have to go through the interview process for them to accept you and they have all the right to reject you according to your performance, so… it’s in your hands.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t know what you may think of me now… but we’ve been friends for a very long time.” Aiba explained. “Even if that has changed for you it doesn’t erase the fact that you were always there for me. So, I would like for you to consider this to be a truce. I don’t want to owe you anything anymore, and I hope this makes us even.”
“Even? For what?”
“The photograph,” Aiba answered, only leaving Kazama with more questions. “It was you who blurred me out of the picture, wasn’t it? I knew it since the moment I saw it,” Kazama’s gaze turned away, exposed by Aiba’s words. “Out of all the people involved, I don’t think anyone would have thought about me the way you did. I think… you always had a sixth sense for getting me out of trouble.”
“You weren’t the target,” Kazama clarified. “There’s nothing more to that.” but Aiba knew there was little for him to justify.
“Believe it or not,” Aiba added. “You’re the most honest person I’ve ever called my friend.”
Kazama still refused to accept his words, turning away as to make himself look indifferent while wishing he could have the courage to face him again.
Aiba had begun to pick up his things and had gotten up from his chair when Kazama dared to ask. “Are you still seeing that guy?”
Aiba glanced at him momentarily before a smile curled in his lips, though in his eyes, Kazama felt the melancholy of something that was beyond his comprehension. Realizing there was more in Aiba than what Aiba himself could manage to express, Kazama felt as if he’d only made a fool of himself for asking.
~
He arrived at the restaurant perhaps too early, but he resolved on waiting for the meantime, occasionally glimpsing at his wristwatch to make sure he had time to catch his train. He began to feel impatient when night came and he was offered a table to wait at instead. Eventually, his nerves settled when he finally saw him come into the restaurant in a hurry and with an apologetic smile.
“I’m so sorry I’m late… I should have called you sooner,” Jun said regretfully, taking a seat across from Aiba.
“It’s okay.” Aiba assured him. “You’re here now.”
“Did you wait long?” Jun asked. Aiba observed him carefully, noticing how clean the other was dressed. Even his hair bangs had a different style than how he wore them during work, but Jun always looked his best when it came to their dates.
Aiba had already lost count of the times they had gone out together, but it had been two long months since it started. After their former director was transferred to a different branch, Jun had approached him with a tempting invitation that eventually they recalled as their first date. But Aiba wanted to take things slowly and he made sure Jun understood that. They only went out to public places and Jun was careful enough to never refer to Aiba as his boyfriend just in case. Each date ended with Jun walking him home and asking before kissing him, but never coming in to Aiba’s apartment.
The conditions built around their relationship were sometimes even a burden to keep up with, and Aiba didn’t understand why Jun would want to follow any of it. But Matsumoto had proved himself patient with him all this time, his only interest was to make Aiba feel ready before engaging into anything bigger. Aiba’s only regret now was never being honest with him from the very start.
Aiba denied having waited out of courtesy, but he had expected to get things done sooner. Glancing at his watch, he knew he was going to be late.
Jun begun to inspect the menu when Aiba felt his nerves kicking in again. Not knowing how he would get through with this, he took a deep breath.
“Actually… I may have to skip dinner tonight,” Aiba began. “In all honesty, I called you here for a different reason.”
Jun was taken aback by Aiba’s sudden announcement, but he quickly set the menu aside to grant him his attention. “What is it?”
“I don’t know if there is any easy way of saying this.” Aiba sighed, trying to ease his trembling hands. “Jun… you’re amazing, and the most wonderful person I’ve met. I’ve learned that since the very first moment I saw you and I’m reminded of it each time I’m with you. You’ve made feel like I’m a special part of your life even when I doubt myself so much, and for that I truly thank you.” Aiba could feel his heart racing with just the look he gained from Jun, but he had to go on before it was too late. “I know I told you I would try my best to understand your feelings and somehow make this work between us, but instead…I’ve learned something about myself I was too sacred to admit before. That what you feel for me, I feel it too… for someone else.”
Jun’s look fell in silence, as he had nothing to say. Yet Aiba wouldn’t allow him to feel discouraged. “I’m sorry if I ever made you misunderstand me. I shouldn’t have played with your feelings like this.” Aiba continued. “All this time I’ve just been regretting every decision I did in the past, but you always reminded me to look for what I wanted and I’ve finally found that thanks to you. So don’t ever think our time together was in vain. If it wasn’t for you… I would have forgotten that which means so much to me.”
Jun’s thoughts had wondered off and the smile he had arrived with faded from his lips. “You love him, don’t you? Anonymous.” Jun asked, perceiving the effect of his own words on Aiba. “I know it’s none of my business and I only know because I saw your phone once by chance, I don’t even know the guy but… it’s always been on my mind why you were always stuck to your phone. Though you’re not like that anymore. What happened?”
Aiba sighed. “We went our separate ways.”
“Then, you’re not seeing each other?”
“No… we haven’t met for a while.”
“I see…” Jun sighed deeply, collecting his thoughts again before he could carry on. “In that case, I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not giving up on you.” he said, firmly, taking Aiba by surprise. “You’re not together, and you’re not even sure if he’ll take you back, so if it doesn’t work out… I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you.”
“Jun, you’re not being fair to yourself-”
“I know I must sound desperate to you,” Jun interrupted. “But… don’t we all do crazy things for the people we love?” Jun smiled to him, almost like the first time they had ever looked at each other deeply, only now Masaki wasn’t able to lose himself in the younger’s gaze without thinking of another.
Aiba chuckled, wondering how much of a fool he was for rejecting the man in front of him, and he understood how right Matsumoto was. But Aiba believed he could no longer compromise with taking the easy way out.
~
‘I lied to you.’
‘I’m not doing this anymore.’
‘You might have hurt me before, but forgetting you is the
hardest thing you’ve ever asked from me.’
‘I don’t want to pretend I lost you.’
‘You say perhaps things wouldn’t have worked
out between us, but I think you’re wrong.’
‘I trusted you unconditionally and without
knowing you, I loved you.’
‘How can a person I’ve never seen before
make me feel so much?’
‘I refuse to think you’re gone.’
‘That you won’t come back.’
‘Or that it was our fault that we had to split apart.’
‘It wasn’t.’
‘So why are we hiding from each other, when no one
can touch us here?’
‘Why did we run away?’
‘We must have thought that it was correct.’
‘Do you still believe that?’
‘No.’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever been more of a fool.’
‘Would you tell me something?’
‘Anything.’
‘What would you do if I were with you right now?’
‘I wouldn’t let you go.’
‘It’s a long way from home.’
‘It wouldn’t matter if you were here.’
‘I don’t think I could stand going back so soon,
but for you, I would try anything.’
‘I would take my chances.’
‘You’re outside right now aren’t you?’
Sakurai stopped all together, his attention caught in the text in his phone. Momentarily, he looked around him, outside of the building of the company offices, but saw no more than strangers. He retuned to his phone to find the other typing.
‘It’s a beautiful night.’
‘It is.’
‘Seeing you now is just what I imagined.’
‘What did you imagine?’
‘Just you.’
‘You’re everything I can think of.’
‘You stopped walking now, why?’
‘Let me see you.’
‘When you do, what will happen then?’
‘We’ll stop hiding.’
‘And after? Would you let me feel you again?’
‘I will.’
‘And kiss me?’
‘I will.’
‘Would you tell me you love me?’
For once, Sakurai was glad they were a phone away for the lump in his throat wouldn’t have let him answer.
‘It’s a promise.’
The End
A/N: I simply cannot believe I've actually finished something in my life. As I said before, I've been planing this story since Jun 2016 and I'm still amazed of how much this story grew from it's first drafts. This fic was my only source of entertainment when my country went through 2 very devastating hurricanes and if it wasn't for that time I don't think I would have been able to finish it as fast as I did. I had so much fun sharing this and reading your reactions made my day each time. I cannot thank you enough for your support. I would like a round of applause for ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arashikuro who has put up with me for the last year and 90k words. It wouldn't have turned out as coherent if it wasn't for your big help <3 And thank you for those of you who left comments which each update, you've made this all the more exciting!
I hope I can do another project like this one soon, but I'll be quiet for a while until I can finish with my semester. Hopefully I will get lots of things done in the summer. Thank you all again for reading and commenting, I hoped you enjoyed! And I'll see you next time.
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Anyway, congrats on completing this series ^^ I really enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to your next work!