![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
「Anonymous」Chapter 10
Chapter 10
There was a single knock on the door before Ohno showed himself into the private office. He glanced towards the end of the room and paused at the unusual sight before quickly shutting the door behind him. The empty desk was a mess of papers while the one responsible stood by a window.
Ohno could immediately tell the other’s anxiousness hadn’t let him sit still all morning, and he braced himself before moving into the room, holding on to the papers in his hands to summon the patience he needed.
“I’m here,” Ohno announced, greeted by the other’s back as Sakurai left a wall of silence spread between them. Ohno recognized the mug he’d prepared for the director that morning sitting by the latter’s desk, cold and neglected, along with everything else spread over the table.
“I thought you said you couldn’t sleep last night,” Ohno commented on the cup of coffee, but by Sakurai’s silence, Ohno could tell he didn’t want to address the matter. “You should at least eat something.”
“I’ve lost my appetite.” Sakurai responded. Ohno frowned at him clueless of how to approach the matter, but knowing he was no match for Sakurai’s stubbornness, there was little he could do.
“Should I go through the schedule?” Ohno asked. Sakurai didn’t respond and kept his stance. Nonetheless, Ohno began. “I’ve sent in the report on this week’s advances. Everything seems to be in order. Management wants to confirm a meeting for this afternoon. They expect to hear an answer from us by then. The accounting division will also be present so it’s important that we confirm. In the meantime, we should go through those expense reports. Are you done with-” Ohno holds on to his question. With just a glimpse over the desk, he notices the papers he’d put in front of Sakurai himself days ago, and just like back then, they remained blank. “You haven’t signed,” Ohno said, not at all surprised.
Sakurai sighs, already worn out by Ohno’s complains. “I’ve been busy, Ohno.”
“With?” Ohno refuted. “And your answer better be work.”
“I’ve been thinking.”
“About him?” Ohno asked. The silence he received from the other said it all. “Sho, we don’t have time for this. The board’s been breathing down my neck because of you. You can’t make them wait forever! If you’re going to choose someone else we need it done now, or else I need you to approve these candidates right away.”
Ohno eyed him questioningly, surprised Sakurai signed off so quickly a decision he had been pondering over for more than a week. There was certainly something skeptical about the other’s silence and Ohno decided to take his chances and look through it himself. He understood what was going on with just the first lines of the document.
“You took him down… You’re keeping him after all,” Ohno concluded. Sakurai could only shut his eyes, being caught by the other.
“I don’t want to hurt him anymore, Ohno.”
“So, he is still in your best interests.”
“What else would you have me do?”
“You should have done what was fair to start with.” Ohno spit to him. “As head of this office, you haven’t made a single decision as his boss. Everything he says, you do, and the rest you manipulate for his sake! Do you realize how unethical that is? If it wasn’t obvious before, it’ll be now!” Ohno didn’t mean to raise his voice, but it was almost unavoidable when the other would barely glimpse at him. “I’m sorry to say this, but you should have fired him.”
“Is that all?” Sakurai asked.
“No,” Ohno responded boldly, letting the papers in his hand sit on Sakurai’s desk. “Sho… What happened to you?” Ohno asked in a lower tone, not as his assistant but as a friend with genuine concern. “You told me you wouldn’t get carried away, but this is already out of your control. You’re not even thinking for yourself! You can’t even judge who you’re really doing this for… Why do you even let him control you this way?”
Sakurai breathed out. He arranged his suit and tie before he turned towards his secretary and took his seat. As always, he didn’t want to talk. He was sick of hearing what Ohno had to say and was so incompetent he couldn’t fight the other. He rustled through the papers laying on his desk and made himself look busy, running away from Ohno’s judgement.
“Cancel my meeting for this afternoon. I need it rescheduled for tomorrow morning. I suggest you take those documents to management right away. Also, please make the announcement that evaluations for this month will be postponed. If anyone asks, I ordered it.” Sakurai spoke as a final command, letting him know he will not resume with their discussion.
For several seconds, Ohno stood before him hoping his words would somehow come across, but eventually he realized he was only wasting his energy. Ohno bowed and moved away to carry out Sakurai’s instruction, but not before shooting a painful look at the other. Was this really what Sakurai had been reduced to after a rejection? If anything, Ohno was thankful Sakurai’s professional appearance at least allowed him to seem as composed as ever in front of everyone else.
“Ohno…” Sakurai’s voice manifested itself once again, making the secretary turn towards him. Sakurai spoke with great hesitation, knowing his words would only stir the other more, but it was a risk he was willing to take. “Did he come?”
Ohno’s look towards Sakurai showed disappointment, understanding he will never give up. Nevertheless, the secretary answered, hoping it would make Sakurai understand his anticipation had been in vain. “No.”
Ohno’s eyes glanced over the lane of cubicles briefly before they stopped by an empty one. It was the same one he would look out for whenever Aiba Masaki was present. It had almost become his duty to watch his desk in Sakurai’s stead. Ohno hated the manner of this new task most of all but seeing that the smallest report on his observations would make Sakurai forget his formal sternness had made Ohno comply each passing day. But now, Ohno had to admit Sakurai had crossed a line he couldn’t follow, and he feared the outcome of Sakurai’s decisions would only worsen with time (if there really was any way it could get worse).
Ohno didn’t take another step before his shoulder was roughly brushed aside. The strength used by the other was clearly intentional, almost making him drop the documents in his hands. When his eyes followed the individual walking past him, his complaint was cut short as he held his breath. Watching the familiar back of his body walk through the office and entering the door Ohno had just left. A bad feeling stirred in his stomach before he hurried back into Sakurai’s office.
Sakurai jolted due to the abrupt intrusion of a young man walking into his private office, a piercing look of anger painted in his eyes, carrying a cup on one hand while the knuckles of the other turned white with closed fists, enough to convey to Sakurai the reason of his visit.
Sakurai was startled up from his chair when the loud stomping of his feet approached him, and before Ohno could prevent it, the barista ruthlessly flung the strong scented cup of coffee at Sakurai, wetting his clothes and letting it spill on the documents on top of Sakurai’s desk.
“Nino, what are you doing!?” Ohno pulled on Nino’s arm which the latter coldly brushed off, silencing Ohno while keeping his eyes on Sakurai.
“I should have known…” Nino spoke with a ragged breath. “He never got fired. Even when you yelled at him you never made slightest attempt to get rid of him. You always meant to keep him for yourself, you sick freak! You only took advantage of him because he took pity on an asshole like you! But you were wrong to come across him. I should have interfered sooner. I’ve had enough of the stupid mess you’ve made out of him! Hell, it serves you right he finally got rid of you! You don’t deserve him… and he deserves better than someone as low as you.”
Sakurai didn’t know where to place his eyes, feeling utterly stripped of his words. But Nino’s damage had been done, and seeing the lack of response from the other, he resolved it was a waste of his time to expect anything more from someone so pathetic.
Nino walked out of the office not a second later, but before he could completely escape, he felt Ohno trailing close behind him, calling his name tirelessly.
“Nino, stop!” It’s not until they reached the elevators that Ohno pulls him by his arm.
“Let me go!” Nino furiously pushed Ohno away. “Leave me alone! I don’t want to see you!”
“Nino, calm down-!”
“I don’t want to hear that from you! Hell, how am I supposed to believe you didn’t have anything to do with this!?” Nino spat at him, taking Ohno aback.
“Nino… what are you saying?”
“Swear to me…” Nino’s voice cracked as he stared into the other’s eyes. “Swear you didn’t know about what he was doing! Swear you did anything to stop it! Swear to me you never got involved…”
Ohno held himself back, unable to find the honesty Ninomiya asked from him and realized he was cornered against a wall.
After not receiving his answer, Nino’s tears had begun to stream, causing him to look away as to not be caught drying them with the sleeve of his shirt.
“I can’t do this anymore…” Nino wept. “It’s over.”
Ohno’s heart sunk. His mind was blank, baffled by the words he struggled take in. “Don’t say that…” Ohno implored weakly, but Nino refused to look at him again. “Please, Nino...”
“I don’t want to see you again.” Nino finally said, turning his back to the other and getting into the empty elevator. Ohno wished he could have said something before his voice had stopped working. It was not until its doors closed on him that Ohno became conscious that Ninomiya’s words would be the last he’d hear from him.
Ninomiya hadn’t even chosen a floor when he was drowned in a violent sob. But he couldn’t take the pulsing pain in his chest that made him sink to the floor as he tried to muffle the tears under his hand. And he hated it. He hated all of them, but he hated himself the most for allowing the smallest sentiment to get to him in such a way.
~
No matter how much Sakurai thought Ohno would come through the door with that tense look he always threw at him and another protest on how much he had been right, Ohno simply did not return. And the more he delayed, the more Sakurai worried something must have gone wrong. He felt a responsibility to look for his secretary, but Sakurai wouldn’t dare leave his office, not because of the new obvious coffee stain drenching his clothes or how it wet his hair, but of not being able to tell if he would cross paths with Aiba Masaki if he did.
He was already informed by Ohno of Aiba’s absence, but he had no way of knowing if he would’ve decided to come in at the last minute. And Sakurai didn’t have the courage to take the chance of running into him, so he could only hide.
He sat back down at his desk, contemplating the mess of coffee stains and papers, having no choice but to accept their loss. At a time like this, he no longer had the ability to feel anger. He could only be thankful the drink hadn’t been boiling when Ninomiya decided to empty it on him, as he expected no less from Aiba’s close friend.
Ninomiya was right. All this time Sakurai had allowed himself to get closer to Aiba, he had turned weak. When he decided to become someone else, when he never had the guts to let himself be seen, and even in the very beginning when he’d made the mistake of falling for someone like Aiba Masaki. He’d always known it was wrong and he had made himself believe he tried everything to forget him, but only now he could admit he’d been taking advantage of his authority to make it so he never did forget.
Sakurai’s head sunk back into his chair with a loud sigh. He was overthinking things again and he wished everything would quiet down. He couldn’t reason with himself for a moment or think straight. He wished he could escape from all of it. Yet, even his only escape, his phone, which sat in a corner of his desk, was no use to him now, as he was unable to go to the only person who would make him find himself again.
He was mad, because there was nothing he could do but continue being the coward behind his phone. And he was unable to summon the courage to come before whom he confessed his love to, as he almost did before when he met him that late night in his office. When they sat across each other with piles of work between them and the words they exchanged flowed as freely as their texting. That one time he could feel at ease beside him and gaze at him without worrying about being caught. When there were no barriers in between or masks to hide behind. All he’d made him feel that night, which now he’d given up on ever finding again.
Although there were many other occasions he’d come to dread never stepping up to him before, since the day he’d come into his life for the first time and Sakurai couldn’t do anything about it than to fall victim to it. He remembered him ever since the moment he walked in for his interview and was forced to impress his superiors and himself, only Sakurai had already been captivated with his eagerness, the sincerity in his voice, his humble approach and his warming smile which disappeared by the end, when the remarks of a member of the board had taken it away from Aiba’s lips.
“Those idiots,” Sakurai commented loudly when they had taken and intermission from the interviews to have their lunch and he reunited with Ohno. “They think experience falls down from the sky when they should be giving opportunities to beginners trying to get their shot.” And it bothered him that through that time none of them had seen in Aiba an inch of what he’d made him feel.
And while he ranted when he was in Ohno’s company, his words were cut short as he spotted the subject of his worries. The younger had been walking distractedly with a fallen look causing the smallest collision of their shoulders as they crossed paths, gaining a deep apology from Aiba. Sakurai would have told him not to mind it, but he’d forgotten how to make use of his voice due to the other’s proximity. After several bows, Aiba walked away, feeding the distance between them, but Sakurai’s eyes still followed him distractedly until he’d forgotten the reason of why he’d stopped walking.
Then it was the nerve of the members of the board with their complaints, asking if it was even worth the bother to consider Aiba’s résumé. And right before his papers were thrown aside by the others, he had to raise his voice to speak some sense into them and explain why they would be making a mistake for not considering his thorough preparation.
“Well, as I believe most of us can agree, you seem to have a clear opinion about it, so why don’t you take him into your department? I’m sure he’ll do well if he can demonstrate what you’ve told us.” It was one member of the board who told him, the same one who’d made a blunt comment during the interview and had left Aiba speechless.
And Sakurai had to take his own word to heart, hoping he’d made the right thing as he placed Aiba’s papers into his approved candidates. Something in his chest had begun to throb he had to ask for a break the next moment.
But none of that could compare to the first time Aiba walked onto the floor. Among a handful of new employees, he always stood out from the rest. He always glistened in colors while the rest of the world remained in gray. But Sakurai had made the decision right then that if he was going to be his boss, there was nothing more he could be, and his decision was made so that he would never look at Aiba the same way again, not while they remained under the same roof.
Those were the lies he’d convinced himself to believe, and they turned into his burden with the years, as Aiba became the person he yearned to be with. Then came his own denial, as he had to watch Aiba fall short of the expectations of his superiors. Left with low remarks in his evaluations, Sakurai was bound to bargain with their judgement about his potentials while at the same time he made himself indifferent in front of Aiba. Sakurai carried a feeling much like responsibility when it came to him. And regardless of how many had come and gone, Sakurai only had to make sure Aiba would remain. As this carried over the years, Sakurai wondered if it ever was because he was trying to prove himself something or if Aiba could have really done it on his own, without his interference.
It became an obsession, an impulse to get his attention, because what was the worst that could happen? As long as Aiba didn’t know, there was no reason to stop.
“This is… bad,” Ohno had told him once. “Sho, if any of this gets out, you have any idea of the consequences that would imply?”
“He doesn’t need to know.” Sakurai had responded him, his gaze barely leaving his phone where their conversation once seemed never ending. “He doesn’t need to know.” He couldn’t tell the times he’d repeated it, and even less the times he’d truly meant it.
Even when he had to go against Aiba’s persuasion for the truth and the possibility of not having to run away anymore, he would not let it end. No matter how much he was hurting Aiba, Sakurai simply could not phantom the moment Aiba would realize his disappointment and the mistake for ever getting involved with someone who wouldn’t even give him their name. But the damaged was made and there was no way of reverting it now. It was his own fault, after all, for falling in love with someone so out of his reach and for pretending he could someday have Aiba love him back.
~
‘you are and odiot’
‘ure an idiot an a jerkrk’
‘Aiba?’
‘yo re a complete isiot’
‘What’s going on?’
‘you hab mo reason to be tecting me’
‘Aiba, what are you doing?’
‘Ican do as i please stop hotherin me’
‘You’re drunk.’
‘Is that why you’re texting me?’
‘i sont care wht yu think ou lisen to me’
‘anon is my frend yu cant tke him way from e’
‘he ljkes me gnuinely and i owe hm so mch’
‘i don wnt to lose hm to u i ont cae if yu ae mu bosss’
‘Aiba… I don’t understand.’
‘I ont need uou to undrstad me no!
i need anon I need non.’
‘aon i need uu’
‘...’
‘I can’t lie to you anymore.’
‘i ont care lie to e do whtver uou wan’
‘I jus need t know if he st ill ther’
‘i dnt ant to tink abut u anmore’
‘an d i m so tred i want t go hom’
‘You should call Nino.’
‘Tell him where you are and let him take you home.’
‘he dosnt cae.’
‘he hates me bcuse of u and I onlu kep hurtin him’
‘i wishe h stopped makin imslf miderable because f me’
‘and he was s stupid brekin up wih onho’
‘non! Wy do yu keep ingnoring me!’
‘I can’t do this.’
‘no you ont want to beceuse youe shmed of me’
‘well guss wat im ashame of uou too.because of u i lost mu firens.
how m i upposed t billieve i kess my boss!!?!’
‘Aiba, stop texting me.’
‘stp?? why shoulf i listn to you? You never stoppp when i asked u..
U mae stupi d xcuses and I blived you.’
‘Please, just go home.’
‘NO. Im gong to wiat for anon am u cnat make me!’
‘Boss or whatwvwr.’
‘Don’t make me do this.’
‘ha!! Wha did yu eve do fr me?’
‘you mever cared f hw i felt.
Yu never concdered m feeligns!’
‘Bosy arrongt isot!’
‘just leve me alon’
‘…’
‘Anoon!’
‘wann go hom’
‘Give me your location.’
‘not untl anon coms’
‘i wnt to se anon’
‘i need to talk’
‘I can’t go until you tell me where you are.’
‘Fien’
‘Itanubahr’
‘You have to make a better effort.’
‘O Ta NI bAR!’
‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t move, I won’t take long.’
‘Anon lease i nee to se u’
‘i ned yu I need u’
The messages kept arriving to his phone as Sakurai hurried down the busy street to the bar near their company building. As each word became less comprehensible his worry only increased until the arrival of new notifications to his phone stopped all together. He wrestled with the thought of Aiba passing out at the bar or perhaps being kicked out and left stranded on a nearby street. He knew he needed to hurry.
“Aiba… Aiba wake up!” Sakurai pleaded, managing to get Aiba to peek his head from between his arms, glancing at the other sleepily and a little disoriented.
“Anon…?” Aiba manages to mumble when his sight fixes on the other and his expression transforms into a pout. “You’re not Anon...”
Sakurai swallows harshly. “Aiba, please, you have to go home.”
“I won’t!” A very drunk and lucid Aiba snapped back.
“I’m not leaving you here.”
“I don’t care! I don’t want to see you…” Aiba’s voice trails off.
“Please… I don’t want to do this here.”
“Then where!? At the office?”
Sakurai can feel his chest beginning to clench and a long minute takes away his words. He can’t think straight anymore and the mess of what Aiba had become still lays in front of him. And to think it was all his fault…
“Hey… Hey!” the voice of a bartender is what brings Sakurai back to his senses. “Your friend there still owes me for those drinks.”
Sakurai finds himself lost before he internalizes what he was asked for, and therefore begins searching for his wallet.
“He’s not my friend…” Sakurai could hear Aiba mumble under his breath and it became hard to ignore as Sakurai handed the bartender Aiba’s payment.
“I’ve warned you,” Sakurai says to Aiba. “You’re going to make me use force.”
Aiba whines loudly before Sakurai is pulling him up from his stool and holds him from under his arm. His weight falls numbly over Sakurai for a few seconds before Aiba regains his sense again and fights Sakurai’s grip away.
“No! Let me go! I don’t’ want to go!” His loud tantrum is picked up from all sides of the establishment.
“Aiba, you’re making a scene!” Sakurai tries to shush him, before Aiba frees himself from his grip with a clumsy push.
“And what about you? What the hell is your deal!?” Aiba argued in a clumsily shaky voice, singling out the older. “You hated me! You pushed me around, you made me fear you and made me think it was respect! You’re my boss! How should I believe all this time I was looking up to a coward?”
“Aiba-”
“You hurt Jun! All this time you disagreed with him, not because you despised him, he never did anything wrong, it was you! You were jealous of him! You were jealous he had the courage you never had! And you pretended to be someone else and blamed me for not recognizing you sooner. But how was I supposed to know? You hated me! Why should I have trusted you? Why did you make me trust you?” Aiba’s fists land weakly and repeatedly over Sakurai’s chest. “You were supposed to hate me, so why? Why did you hide from me this way?” The drunk one had run out of breath, his voice drowned on the tears his state provoked. Making himself dizzy, his feet could barely hold up his body and his head leans on Sakurai’s shoulder. “Why… Why did you make me love you?”
While his last words were softly spoken, the chatter of the establishment continued, but Sakurai remained paralyzed. While the other’s weight leaned on him, he had no other choice than support him carefully enough as to touch him in the least amount possible. The contact of their bodies was wrong, no matter what Aiba may have said, as delirious as he was. Sakurai could only wait for the other to allow him to move them away, as he heard Aiba weeping next to his ear and hoped to disappear from the attention.
When Aiba’s weeping had toned done, Sakurai managed to convince him to help him walk him outside the establishment, this time without the tantrum he’d thrown before. Immediately out on the cold street, Sakurai calls for a cab while maneuvering Aiba’s weight on him and asking him to stay awake in vain as he’d grown heavier the more the cab delayed coming.
When an empty one finally pulls over, Sakurai helps the younger in first, securing him in his seat before he goes in himself from the opposite end of the car. When the driver asks for an address, Sakurai directs him to Aiba’s apartment.
“Director… how do you know my address?” Aiba asked drunkenly, his head leaning sleepily to the side of the window.
Sakurai looked at him, murmuring the words “Idiot,” under his breath. “Why did you have to get yourself drunk?”
During the quiet cab ride, Sakurai’s eyes were fixed on what was outside the window, as he was unable to fathom an explanation of what this night had been. He decided it would be more probable to not speak of it at all, and even less with the one on his side, who had seemed to find some peace in his sleep. Sakurai’s eyes began to relax due to the calming heater inside of the cab. He had almost given in to his exhaustion if it wasn’t for the sudden weight he felt on him after a sharp turn tossed them, causing Aiba’s head to lay conveniently on Sakurai’s lap.
Sakurai is immediately shaken by the unprecedented gesture and freezes. “Aiba… wake up,” Sakurai shakes the unconscious Aiba, but he appears to have fallen like a log. “You shouldn’t be…” Sakurai’s words cut short, seeing they had gained even the driver’s attention from the rearview mirror. “You have to sit up!”
Aiba groans in response, fixing himself into a much more comfortable spot on Sakurai’s thigh making it clear to the other he would not be moving away. Sakurai sighs, wondering why he was still trying at this point. He returns to the window to try and stay awake this time when he heard Aiba mumble. “Smells… like coffee.”
The last thing he needed was the reminder of Ninomiya wanting him dead, but he tried not to ponder on it. Aiba wasn’t in his right mind nor did Sakurai feel the urge to tell him why the smell was printed on his clothes. There was still a long ride ahead to Aiba’s apartment, and he wished he could convince him to sleep in the meantime.
For a moment Sakurai’s attention fixes on Aiba’s head, his brown and straight hair falling over his face. His hands felt the urge to brush it away, but he needs to hold himself back. It’s wrong, he tells himself again. And no matter how long the ride became, he couldn’t bring himself to touch him.
~
When the cab finally drops them off by Aiba’s apartment building, Sakurai had found it best to carry Aiba on his back all the way up to his door step. Finding the keys to his front door was another complication as he reached for Aiba’s pockets and tried to not lose his balance. Luckily, they were hidden safely in his coat and Sakurai was thankful there was not much searching to do.
Coming into Aiba’s apartment seemed almost familiar, taking off his shoes by the entrance and making his way past the living room, going straight to Aiba’s room, probably the only part of his apartment that still remained unknown to him.
Finally, he could let go of Aiba’s weight and let him collapse over the bed. The younger remained sound asleep, or at least he pretended to be, seeing that a smile drew on his face when he recognized the comfort and familiarity of his bed sheets. Sakurai didn’t want to delay himself any longer and began to move away before he notices he’d forgotten to take care of Aiba’s shoes.
He hesitates. Everything is telling him to let it go, but an impulse doesn’t allow him to leave the room. He unties each shoe carefully, and places them beside the foot of the bed when he feels a light tough pulling on his arm. Aiba had awaken and he struggled to gesture something Sakurai couldn’t understand.
“What is it?” Sakurai asked, but the younger refused to talk, pulling on his arm, and making Sho sit on the bed. Sakurai’s heart raced, feeling the younger’s eyes following his parted lips.
Aiba tugged on Sakurai’s clothes while his fingers played with the buttons of Sakurai’s shirt. “Aiba…” Sakurai said warningly, but the younger shortened their distance, pulling Sakurai closer, allowing their lips to brush against each other.
“Aiba… we can’t…” Sakurai pulled back with each repeated peck of Aiba’s lips, feeling Aiba’s ragged breath against his mouth each time, but the younger’s strength forced him back on the mattress while Aiba ardently carved into his lips.
Pinned down by Aiba’s body, Sakurai knew he needed to make him stop, but Masaki had made it difficult to break free from his embrace and the enticing sensation of Aiba’s hot lips on his was almost torture. And when he thought he couldn’t feel any worse, Aiba moaned against his lips.
Gradually, Aiba’s hands slide down Sakurai’s body, pulling his tie loose and beginning to work awkwardly on the buttons of his shirt. The youngers lips began to trail clumsily from Sakurai’s lips to his jaw line and stopping at his neck while his hands explored the inside of Sakurai’s shirt.
“Anon…” His breathless voice calls him softly the slower his lips moved against Sakurai’s hot skin. Aiba repeated his pseudonym a few times, filling Sakurai with more guilt each time.
Eventually Sakurai felt Aiba’s body get heavier and his hands becoming still, right until Aiba’s lips couldn’t move any longer. He breathed profoundly against Sakurai’s neck when he finally entered sleep and his unconscious body laid over Sakurai’s immobile one.
Resting peacefully and inebriated over his chest, Sakurai realized what he’d done. His hand falls over his mouth to muffle a gasp that brought tears to his eyes. How selfish and stupid could he be? Since when had become such a detestable person?
“I’m sorry…” Sakurai uttered with a choked voice. “I’m so sorry…” It was all he repeated, muffling the sobs that came with his words, as he felt the younger’s body silently breathing against his and hated himself all over again.
~
Sakurai had managed to replace his body by placing a pillow under Aiba’s head before he moved away. He sat on the bed to button up his shirt again, thinking of putting an end to his recklessness for a last time. He simply couldn’t risk making such a stupid mistake again.
Taking Aiba’s blazer, which had fallen beside the bed, he finds Aiba’s cell phone. Hesitantly, he makes sure the younger was sound asleep before he unlocks his phone and goes into his contacts. He finds his own number under the name Anonymous. Searching under “details”, he found the “Delete Contact” option and pressed it without a second thought, along with the text and call history that remained in Aiba’s phone.
Sakurai placed the phone back on Aiba’s bedside table and left the room, but not without looking back at his peaceful body a last time.
no subject
And oh my God poor Nino and Ohno, to be honest I found Nino's reaction fair enough but I am sorry that Ohno had to face the consequences too... I hope they can make it up ;-;
Thank you for writing this 🖤
no subject
Perhaps Ohmiya will learn something too.
Thanks for reading and commenting~!
no subject
no subject
Thanks for reading and commenting~!
no subject
Oh my Sho...you dont have to delete the numbers 😭. Dont run away again...the damage is done. Go to him..talk to him face to face...settle the problem like a real man. Aibaby...hope you remember what happened tonight. If he dont wanna face you, go attack him in his office, Aiba!!!
My ohmiya is suffering too..😔
no subject
Thanks for reading and commenting~!
no subject
Everything is so complicated now. It's a situation in which the damage will happen both if you speak or if you don't. I can only hope that they won't get hurt more than how they already are because omg they are already suffering a lot.
Regarding Sho: I don't know if removing himself from Aiba's contact was a good idea. I mean, he did it because he doesn't want Masaki to keep suffering because of him but I think that Aiba could get even angrier about this. Like, he would feel as if it's Sho the one rejecting him now because he is still a coward or because he doesn't want to have anything to do with him. And I fear that he will feel even more alone.
Arghhhh I don't want them to suffer but in the meantime I understand that they have to suffer??? Like, they need to go through all this pain at this moment so I can't complain because it's legit. Geez I will go down for this fic.
Thanks for writing even though my heart can't take it anymore <333
no subject
Deleting the contact was definitely a questionable move from Sho. Perhaps we'll get to see more of what he intended in the next chapter.
Oh, you know they have to suffer. More pain better outcome (right?) Awww that's so nice of you ^///^
As always, thanks for reading yuuki~!
no subject
I hope the two of them will get along eventually. Even Ohmiya. :((
no subject
Thanks for reading and commenting~!
no subject
My punch to the wall now goes to Sho (knowing his side doesn't make me side with him lol). No matter how sweet that date they shared and that night in the office, they will never work out, not unless Sho stops being a coward, and Aiba leaves the company.
I didn't expect that Sho's love for Aiba started on the interview day and he did such repeated manipulation just to have Aiba stay and be mentally and emotionally stressed in their hostile work environment. I thought that Aiba was already working there when Sho noticed him. Because of this fact, those are minus points for Sho. More minus points because he ruined people around him, including the relationship of Ohno and Nino.
I just hope he has a solution to all of this and not to hide again by pretending that nothing had happened. Deleting the contact is such a cowardly move.
P.S. I still fear for Aiba's life versus Sho's antis.
no subject
Sho was quite the stalker (a very different kind of stalker too), and as any other, he should have known better. Now he needs some serious problem fixing to do.
We'll see where that takes us next.
Thanks for reading and commenting~!
no subject
Sho must do something. I understand he fell head over heels but he used his position to keep Aiba with him.
I'm still worrying for Aiba and Kazama.
Great chapter!
no subject
Thanks for reading and commenting~!
no subject
I couldn't explain how I think about this chapter. Too many feelings TT_TT The last part especially broke my heart. But Thank You SO much for sharing as usual! I can't wait to read the remaining chapters and see how it will turn out between them :)
P/S: I reread your February drabbles after reading this chapter and DANG! I just found out there's actually last chapter's fought among it! It's such a mind blowing discovery since I didn't expect to find out that you actually already 'spoiled' the story to us muuuuuuuuuuuuuch earlier! XD
no subject
And thank you for reading! I really appreciate how much you're getting into it ^^ I hope you enjoy the rest of it as well.
Oh...... You found it. Goood~ I wasn't lying when I said I started planning this fic years ago and I may or may not have already spoiled some parts of it before. The answer was there all along. Thankfully no one noticed until now which is perfect! Thank you so much for reading those as well LOL